Sunday, July 4, 2010


I now understand why people who get behind on their blogs have a hard time sitting down to do that first post. I have so many thoughts. Its been an emotional and intense couple of weeks for me.

The funeral was wonderful. Seems kind of weird to say that about a funeral but it really was. They celebrated his life and they celebrated the Savior and it was joyful. I was glad I was there so that I could take time to appreciate how much good there is in this world. From the goodness that my friend's Dad had shared through his life, to the goodness of their friends from church who enveloped them with love. Two of my favorite sentiments from the weekend were when asked about what her Dad had loved the response was "he loved to love his children." I thought that was touching and exactly the kind of parent I want to be remembered as. Carrie also wrote me in one of her e-mails that "she really didn't want to be doing any better than she was at that time." I was overcome by her love for her Dad and her graceful way of letting her grief wash over her and stand as a testament of her love for her Dad.

I was also overwhelmed by the love of my own parents. Maybe seeing someone my age lose a parent made me think of my parents mortality. When I tried to think of what it would mean to lose one of them, I could not let my mind go there. They had about 10 hours notice we were coming. They were ready for us. Beds made, food ready, lists for the store prepared, time set aside. Friday I had a few projects that I wanted to work on. The boys were spoiled with love and my Mom patiently stayed outside while Caleb and Davis played in the jacuzzi for hours. Answering every call for "Grandma watch," with a squeal of praise for their every movement.

I spent hours in my Moms office totally engrossed in preparing my lesson for today and never thought about how the kids were and what time it was. It was wonderful to get lost in my thoughts and take time to ponder and let my mind be exercised at focusing completely on one task at a time. Any supplies I needed were at my fingertips and generously offered and shared. My Dad made a trip to the store for the milk we needed and to replenish the bananas that disappear the minute we walk in the house.

One of the most precious blessings for me to was to have John there to share the weekend with me. His ginormous bid was delayed and his boss just happened to be driving to San Diego. We picked him up Friday night and he came just to be with us that night, escort me to the funeral, swim with his boys, and drive home with us. My love for him swelled so much this weekend. I love that he loves him family and would endure 12 hours of driving for about 12 hours of vacation - just to be with us.

As our hours whittled down to the last few I wanted to run to a couple of quick stores so that I wouldn't have to do it on Monday with kids. My mom offered to go with me. She is generous and she loves to share and spoil me. I love her for that. Sometimes I have a hard time accepting it - my pride gets in the way and I don't want her to ever think I expect that or use her for it. I will always remember how my Mom spoils me, not because I just want things from her but because I know that is how she says I love you. She enjoys taking care of me and doting on me. I'm going to work on being more thankful and accepting of her sweet offerings. I had selfishly never considered that my attempt to make sure that she knew that I didn't expect her to spoil me were in essence denying her the chance to love me in her way.

Last of all, I wanted to share something that made me so happy. For a long time I have had a vision of what kind of dishes I want. I don't want matching dishes I want to be able to buy fun plates in fun colors and have a eclectic table setting. I love some of the fun and funky dishes you can find at thrift stores but usually can only find one or two pieces. I have so many times been tempted to just go out and purchase a few plates from Tai Pan just to get our collection going. I hate that there never seems to just be a little extra that I can squeeze into something frivolous like mismatched plates. John insisted that we stop at a goodwill after the funeral and I protested - we were dressed pretty fancy - but we do love to browse through second hand stores together and so stop we did. This is what I found:

The perfect hues.
The perfect start to my new dishes collection.

Truly I am blessed in so many ways.

1 comment:

Grandma Caroline said...

Yea Honey, I missed that one. Thanks for the sweet memories and thoughts. I do love to spoil you in so many ways! I guess that is what I saw Mary Ila and Goofus do with their girls and I know that's how it's supposed to be. I'm glad you will give me the opportunity to do that once in a while. I really do still worry about you even though you are a most capable women, wife and mother.