Thursday, July 15, 2010

J & L - Together

* I am writing our love story, if you want to start and the beginning click here. At the very bottom of that post you can click on "newer post" and it will take you through our story in order.

We woke up the next morning and there was nothing to eat. I tried to be domestic and made pancakes from Bisquick with water instead of milk and they were awful! We drove back and he dropped me off at my house. We were running late and trying really hard not to be late for Church.

I remember wearing a pink dress with flowers on it and my brown baby doll Doc Martin's. As I drove down to church I was freaking out about what to do, how to act. Everything had changed over night! Do I sit by him? Would he hold my hand? Would he be embarrassed? We had shared so much while talking the night before that we went from being good acquaintances to best friends who had shared deep parts of ourselves over night.

Luckily it didn't matter because I was 10 minutes late for Church. I slipped in on the back row next to my good friend Amy Springer. I looked around quickly to see if he was there yet and he was with all of his roommates about halfway up on the other side of the aisle. He looked back and our eyes locked for a second and we both smiled sheepishly. Amy asked me what I had done the night before and I remember saying slyly, "Oh, I hooked up with some guy." She grabbed my arm and asked who. We whispered a lot the rest of that meeting!

After Sacrament meeting I was out in the foyer trying to stall before heading downstairs to Sunday School. I tried really hard not to look like I was waiting for John - even though I was. He came out and came right over to me and I remember us both acting a little bashful. He asked me if I wanted to come over after church and I readily accepted. I don't remember if we sat next to each other in church but I doubt it because the rest of the time at church was a blur. I went straight over after church and we sat in the only piece of furniture in their basement, which was a papasan. We spent hours in that chair talking all cuddled up, our legs intertwined. After that everyday was spent exactly like that. Every moment that we could spend together, was spent together.

If there is one thing that I stood out from my experience dating John, that was different from all the other boys I had dated, it was that things were always comfortable and natural. Besides that brief moment in Church I always felt secure with him. There were no games or drama, it just felt like the most natural thing in the world. I had never met someone who saw me for who I was inside, understood it, and loved it. I hate to bring back up that previous ex boyfriend but the way John made me feel was the complete antithesis from how I had felt in that previous relationship and it was so wonderful to feel that I was loved for who I was, not for who someone wanted me to be! In fact I believe that the reason I had to go through that relationship was so that I would be able to recognize and always appreciate what I had in John.

I felt so secure with John that he even went on a date with a girl that had asked him on a date before that fateful night at the cabin. I didn't worry one second about him going. It was actually kind of funny to watch him agonize about having to go out with someone else. I knew he would rather be with me and I remember him calling me (literally) the second it was over to see where I was. I had never felt so at ease with someone. There were no pretenses, no apprehensions of what he would think, I could share everything so easily. It truly felt like I had found the part of me that I never knew I was missing.

Every second that we were together I knew he adored me!
It was the most refreshing and incredible feeling in the world!

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