Perspective

I woke up feeling sorry for myself today. I'm tired. John and I are teaching swim lessons this week for 2.5 hours in the evening. Its super fun and we have 31 students. But with everything we have been doing lately, I'm just tired.

Whats killing me is that no matter how many little ways we find to make a little extra money everything just seems to keep creeping up. This week was the week that we were suppose to finally be able to breathe a little bit easier. The week that I am getting the back brakes redone on the car and then all of the extra money could start going to our fund for a new canvas for the tent trailer.

This morning as I was making breakfast the refrigerator made a yucky noise. I just read a story from the Friend to the boys about a family whose fridge was going out and thought to myself, thank goodness its not dying though. Then I had this overwhelming need to know that everything in the freezer was still solid - sure enough the frozen strawberries are softer and the otter pops are slushy.

Seriously, this was the week!

I was out watering my plants through my tears when I realized how lucky we are that we are able to find ways to pay for the income gap we are feeling right now...Johns MRI, new front brakes on the car, fixing our dishwasher, landscaping, summer necessities for the kids, food, a garden....

I don't think John and I have ever worked this hard and we are making it - even if its just barely - and we are doing it without assistance. Its difficult and we are tired but we have so far been able to keep a little in our savings and every time we have had to put something on our credit card, we have paid it off.

More importantly than that we have 3 happy thriving boys. John and I are also working together. We are supporting each other and trying to make each others burdens lighter. Through the struggle we have found strength in each other and our marriage has and is continuing to grow stronger.

Does anything else really matter?

I will call the repair man
and be grateful that I have one that I like and trust.

I will get the brakes changed and be grateful that the transmission fluid
still has about 5,000 miles left before it has to be changed.

I will call the lady back who wanted to book a photo shoot
and be grateful that I am getting business.

I will teach swim lessons tonight
and be grateful for so many wonderful students.

I will continue to shovel rock
and be grateful for getting the perfect rocks for free.

I will continue to take each day at a time and not focus on the big picture because that overwhelms and frustrates me.

Each day I will focus on what I can do - do it well - and have faith that it will work out.
...and I will be grateful.