The wonder of Davis

It has been obvious this week that Davis needed some one on one time with Mom. He loves school - thrives in school! Today I walked into his classroom and all the kids were sitting doing projects while listening to music. Then there was Davis.... coloring while singing The Ants Go Marching - on the top of his lungs. Not even a thought for what others might think and trust me when I say that he sings loud and monotone. He was in his zone and was one with the music and his crayons. Oh how I love him!

Despite his love for school, that doesn't fill his needs for Mom and hes been feeling off with everything going on. We found a sitter for Beck's and we took off for D-land, just the two of us. I realized tonight that Davis and I don't have a lot of conflict in day to day life - he has much more of Johns personality and we even each other out and he doesn't challenge authority. I also realized that makes it harder for me to play with Davis. Not hard as in I don't like it or enjoy it, more its work to change the way I would normally do things because I think Davis and I define "fun" differently.

I wanted to run and do lots of things and he wanted to meander - BEFORE we even got in the park. I slowed down. On Main Street we passed Mickey and he wanted to say hi. I told him to look at that line its sooooooo long and Mom doesn't even have her camera. He looked up at me and said, "But Mom I want to say hi to Mickey." I happily got in line and when he got his turn the look on his face as he hugged Mickey and looked up at me....I would have waited hours for that look. He got to hug Mickey Mouse! I never understood why people wait in line to see the characters but I got it tonight. It would be like me getting to hug Sister Beck or someone I really admire. I also gave Mickey a hug and Davis told him we were going on the submarines, gave him five, and we were out of there - leaving Mickey a little speechless that we didn't want a pic with him.

Davis does not care if there is a long wait for the ride he wants to go on. He doesn't mind waiting is content and patient in the line. He doesn't ask how much longer or complain. He just is waits for what he wants. He doesn't worry about getting to do everything in the whole park and doesn't even want to think ahead of what to do next. He just wants to enjoy what he is doing in that moment, even its just walking and looking.

I need to learn so much from him.

But the real reason I wanted to write this blog tonight was to remember how happy he was all night long. I am special to him. Like reallllllly special! That makes me feel so good about myself.

Sometimes I forget how much my children love me and want my time and want my attention and affirmations. Not need - want. He was giddy all night, so much so that it was almost not normal for Davis. He would jump up and down in lines and then hug my legs and smile up at me and say, "I like you Mom!"

I love that I am liked by my children! Its almost more of a compliment to be liked by them than loved by them. I want to remember the adoration I saw in his face tonight. I have so much to be thankful for and tonight I saw pure unconditional love and deep adoration in my boy's face as he looked at me. And when that face looks like this.....

......its hard not to feel humbled by how lucky I am.

We park in downtown Disney rather than the parking lot because you can park for 3 hours for free and we usually are there about that long. Tonight we wanted to stay longer so we had to get validation for more time. When we were all done in the park we went to the Rain forest Cafe to get a treat to share - I would rather pay for food than for parking! He wanted a smoothie and when the waiter asked if we wanted to pay an extra dollar for the glass that lights up you can be sure my answer was yes! I may not get to splurge a lot but tonight I wanted things to be special and out of the ordinary. I wanted Davis to feel that my time with him is special.

That was one thing that really struck me about my letter to my Mom when I was a little girl - "thanks for taking me out special sometimes." If there was one thing my parents really did right it was that. They made us feel special. It was never about where we went or what we did - it was about feeling special. I was the only girl so opportunities were easy for me to feel special. But I have 3 boys and I really need to make sure than they individually feel special. I had always assumed that parents needed to take kids on dates for one on one time for their childrens benefit. I was wrong. Tonight I realized that I need it as much (if not more) than they do.

I came home feeling special. I came home wanting to be a better person. I came home with better perspective. I came home fulfilled. I came home filled with hope, self-esteem, and empowered by how much he adores me.

Thank you Davis for being so full of wonder and happiness. Thank you for your faith in me. Thank you for thinking I'm special and loving me. When I see the world through your eyes I feel a sense of contentment and I am grateful for that gift.

I am grateful for the gift of having you as my son.