Wednesday, August 4, 2010

"In all of our lives, there comes a moment, an event, that suddenly realigns our life and makes us realize what really matters most."
-Noah beShea
I found some things out yesterday that realigned my life. Even if all of this turns out to be nothing I am and will forever be changed. Last night I lay in my bed crying, pleading with my body to stop the sobs that tore from deep in my soul. I felt selfish. I could only think about how I was not prepared for some of the possibilities that might be on the table. I'm not strong enough or old enough to deal with the possibility that my Mom might be mortal.

I still need her too much. I need her unconditional love and support as I blunder through my life. I need her quiet reassurance that I'm doing a good job. I need a friend to call when I cant call anyone else. Not even to talk with my problems about. Rather because I just want to talk with her. I am her masterpiece and its only through her eyes that I sometimes see my truest beauty and find my deepest acceptance. No one loves like a mother loves. That is what I believed last night.

But Mama do you know how much I love you?

I didn't fully comprehend the love a daughter has for her Mother until the
wee hours of the morning on Tuesday.

I love you Mom,