Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Its been a really interesting process to see how everyone deals with challenges, specifically really hard challenges, like this one before our family. I deal differently than all the boys in the family, including John. Maybe that's why it seems so hard right now that besides my Mom I am surrounded by men. The men in our family are uber unemotional and the women in our family super overly emotional. Ive been thinking lately its like the chicken and the egg - Did they become unemotional because we are overly emotional or did we become overly emotional because they are unemotional. A deep conundrum that is (said in your best Yoda voice please).

One minute I'm up and then I'm down, and then I'm rational and then I'm all emotional. Its hard to keep up with me right now. Nights are the worst. I stay up so late trying to get tired enough that my mind can go to sleep quickly. Its not working. Now I'm tired, drained, and full of swinging emotions. You bet our anniversary yesterday was loads of fun :)

Not only because I'm really worried about my Mom but I'm also fighting with Caleb's school. A looooong and drawn out tale that is robbing me of any energy and zest for life. Its to the point that we are waiting for the superintendent to get back to us because John and I want to have a meeting with the Principle in his office because she needs someone to keep her in line. I assure you, I'm not overreacting. Ive checked with A LOT of people (including the head of Student Services for the District - who apologized on behalf of the district might I add). Our Principle is a piece of work! But unfortunately for our Principle- SHE HAS MET HER MATCH!
Watch out Robyn Bishop!

I think one of the most invaluable life lessons I have learned was from Grandma Henderson (Johns Grandma). She said that in times like this we have to let everyone own their own reactions. We are all going to act differently and that its okay. We have to allow people to cope in their own way. Might sound like common sense but in practical application its really hard! Anytime I have been slightly put off or frustrated on how anyone has reacted I sit back and think about how that person must be feeling and how they are trying their best. My heart softens and I feel compassion and love, instead of frustration or irritation. I sometimes find myself being defensive at how my family is reacting to me and ready to defend myself. Then I realize I have to allow myself that same gift. I have to allow myself to grieve and deal with whatever comes in my own way. Its not right or wrong, its coping.

It has been one of the most important lessons I have learned in my life. Grandma Henderson was right. Times like these can make or break a family. But when we care for each other and have empathy for what each different person's perspective and feelings we can grow closer together. It has helped me understand and feel closer to my Dad, especially since we are so different when it comes to emotions. Its not about acting right or wrong to the situation before us, its about acting in a loving and understanding way to everyone involved.

Hopefully that was the lesson that had to be learned and now we will find that my Mom has that auto immune disorder they are checking for and it will be allllll gooood!


Grandma Caroline said...

Oh honey, yes we all have to learn how to cope, but (now I'm being selfish), I want to be with you and I only have 5 days left.

Sara said...

It's been too long since I've come to your blog and I was lost reading this at first. So I had to quick read and catch up! I'm sorry you have been dealing with so much. With the worries of your sweet mom to being a voice for your sweet son. I can understand why you have been up at night.

I know the Lord loves you and is with you always. Wish we were closer.

Annie said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom and that is SO frustrating about Caleb's school! I hope everything turns out well for you guys!