Monday, April 26, 2010

Back Home

We drove home yesterday from our week long vacation.

The drive was short.
Our reunion with John was sweet.

As I was driving I was thinking about how I feel like I'm always saying "I'm rejuvenated." It made me feel like I'm weak. Like I always need help getting back on top of things. Then I thought about how much my well gets depleted:

Cook, clean, nurture, assist, discipline, laundry, playing, gardening, budgeting, volunteering, teaching, listening, holding, nursing, bathing, dressing, carpooling, diapering, reading, redirecting, organizing, fixing, multitasking, loving, laughing, joking, choosing, shopping, watching, protecting, creating, demonstrating, repeating, reminding, redoing

As a Mom I am constantly doing for others and it wears you out so fast. Add in working, friends, along with being a wife and everything else I'm involved in and I'm exhausted!

I also realised that I'm going to be coming out of that stage in just a year or so. I don't think I will be as demanded on later as I am right now. Not that my kiddos wont need me but in a physical sense Beckham will be growing into a stage where he wont need so much physical assistance. The emotional demands wont change, in fact if Caleb is any sort of indicator I think they will get worse. But the constant - on your guard trying to keep Beckham entertained and safe will get easier.

Usually that is when we would have another baby. I felt "done" after Beckham but I thought that might just be what I needed to feel then. That feeling has since gotten so much stronger.
I really expected to feel the opposite.

I know that the next stage of life will come with challenges but I am so excited for the independence that will come with it. Not just for me but for my kiddos. I feel like there will be so much more of ME to give to them because it wont be worn out so fast from the physical demands of a toddler.

For now though, I feel rejuvenated.
Ready to face the week ahead of me and enjoy each and every little moment with them before we do grow out of this time.

(okay okay so Becks broke his 8th tooth and is all happy again...that helps too)

1 comment:

Abbie said...

So glad you had such a great time and made it home safe!