New Years resoutions 2012

I have 6 goals for this year. I am setting a lot of limits with my time this year so if you are a friend and reading this I would SO appreciate your support in helping me keep these goals. In no particular order of importance my goals are:

I will feed my family healthier. 

After every meal (including breakfast) my boys say without fail, "I ate my breakfast/lunch/dinner what can I have for a treat?" Really? How did we ever give them the impression that every meal is followed by a treat? I think our motivation to get them to eat their food has backfired.

I bought a juicer with some generous Christmas money we received and have started making shakes. It usually is an orange and a slice of fresh pineapple juiced and then added to the magic bullet with half a banana, 3 frozen strawberries, a couple of frozen peaches, and a half cup of spinach. They boys love them! This is the kind of treats we need to be accustomed to!

I also am going to start making sure that dinner is served in the right portions - 1 protein, 1 carb, 2 veggies/fruits. Right now we usually eat 2 carbs and 1 veggie. John and I tend to eat really fast. Its been a necessity in the past with 3 little ones...but our kids all feed themselves now! Its time to slow down and enjoy family dinner so we don't scarf 2 giant portions before we have a chance to feel full.

I will get back to my goal weight. 

The one goal I did make last year, I didn't reach. It was to maintain my weight. In the spring I got really sick, as well the let down after all the months of stress, combined with grief...I was not in a good place! My Dr wanted me to try an anti-depressant and I did. Long story short, because I couldn't take one that was weight neutral I took one that can cause weight gain....and I did. After a couple of months of being on it I felt better and tappered off but I didn't get back on the horse with my weight. Now its time.

I will set limits with work/social time. 

Its hard to work from home. I still do some photography and I consider Over the Big Moon to be a job. I also do some side work with graphic design. Bottom line I need to set work hours and not feel guilty for respecting them. Its hard to tell people that I cant help during those hours because I'm working, but it shouldn't be. If I worked at Walmart people wouldn't expect me to move work to accommodate them and I shouldn't feel guilty about saying I work during those hours. Beckham still takes naps most of the time and it would be good for Davis to start a more structured "quiet time" which would give me about an hour and half during the day that I can work and not take something away from my kids. My work hours are 1:00-2:30. If my work doesn't fit into those hours, then I have too much work and need to downsize and say no.

I also feel bad if I cant do something if I am asked, whether that be going on a play date, a favor for a friend, or helping out with watching kids. John and I both have pretty time demanding callings that squeeze a lot of our extra time out. I remember a good friend telling me that we shouldn't be afraid to say, "I would love to help but I cant because that's not in the best interests of my family." But to actually say the words makes me feel so selfish. Why is that? Why do I push my kids needs back to fit those of someone else. I need to change my mindset and accommodate kids and John first - everyone else second. Of course there are extenuating circumstances but they should be the exceptions not the norm.

I will be more present. 

Along with setting work hours I am going to set hours that are computer and phone free. From 4:00 until bedtime there is no computer and no unnecessary phone conversation. I remember my professors talking about how important it is that Moms are at the crossroads in my MFHD classes. I have been physically present but not always available. Caleb gets home from school at 4 and I don't want any distractions between him getting home and kids getting in bed. I need to be available for my kids during this time to listen to what they have to say about the day, to help with homework, and to just be available for any need they have. That means I might have some time where they don't need me and perhaps I could be more efficient but I don't want to even give my boys the appearance of being unavailable. While the world pushes and values efficiency, which is sometimes necessary, there isn't a lot of room in Mothering for efficiency. In fact nurturing is almost the opposite of efficiency. My life demanded efficiency for a couple of years, but not now. Its time to slow down and nurture.

I also want to be more present for John. He comes in the door often to a whirlwind of activity and frustration. Call me old fashioned but I want to greet him at the door with a kiss and have the house calm enough that I can listen to how his day went and allow him to unload instead of me unloading on him immediately. Its important for me to be at his crossroads too and to nurture our relationship.



I will be better about birthdays and Thank you notes.

I stink at remembering and sending birthday and thank you cards. I use to be better but that's not saying much. This last year was pathetic. Its not because I don't care or am not grateful...sometimes its not even because I have actually forgotten. My life is broken up by the days of the week - not the actual date. On any given day I most likely can not tell you what the actual date is. Regardless I am determined this year to be better and more thoughtful and show people how much they mean to me.

I will be more thoughtful about spending.

We have always been pretty frugal...sometimes even cheap :-) I feel like right now we feel tighter than we really are because we have money that is being spent on little things. Fast food adds up! As does little trips to Walmart or the grocery store for a couple items. We just need to be mindful about our spending again.