Exhaustion & Elation

Last night we rolled into my parents driveway. Poor John had to drive the whole way while I tried to push back the waves of nausea and exhaustion. The last 4 days were intense. The last month has been intense and I felt my body give up and surrender. My Dad texted "where are you" right when we were turning on their street. I texted back "your driveway." I stumbled out of the car to see my Mom and Dad excitedly coming out of the house. I just mumbled I was sick and stumbled inside. My Mom rubbed my back as I went inside, got me a cold drink of water, and some medication to sleep. I crawled into a nice clean bed and listened to the rhythm of my boys being well taken care of.

I woke up this morning feeling so much better. Still a little weak but I know that the next 9 days will erase that. I'm so glad I have my parents who still take care of their little girl. I don't know what I would do without them.

Why the elation? Yesterday I got on the scale and I had lost 1 more pound. That means I have lost 50 pounds total! After Beckham was born I lost weight for 4 weeks and then I stopped and plateaued. That is when I really started working on losing the weight. That was in February of '09. Its taken me over a year and half to lose that 50 pounds. Its been a lot of work but I feel so good inside and out. I have heard the the longer it takes to come off the more likely it is to stay off. So even thought its been frustrating that its taken so long, its probably a good thing.

9 more pounds left and then I will be where I want to be - 135. Its hard for me to reveal that number because I know you all just calculated out where I started from, and I'm still so ashamed of that number. But then again its just a number and it doesn't define me anymore and never will again.

I know I can do it.