Ode to Pam

This is my friend Pam and her cute family.

She saves me everyday! I think we talk about 20 times a day. She is so creative and I love her insights. She is a lot like me, you never have to wonder what she is thinking and I find that so refreshing in people! Most of all she is so giving. She is one of the most generous people I know. She has the biggest heart and would walk through fire for her friends! Its been great for me to find someone who is so like me that I don't feel like I have to explain myself to, I just feel comfortable around her.

Plus her hubby and little man are pretty cool too! Nathan is great with Beckham. He even will crawl around with him on the ground instead of walk.

I'm glad that they decided not to move...even if it was only to St George. I love having them as our neighbors and I know that I couldn't live without them out here!

And as if that wasnt enough...we just found out that they love games too! Specifically Ticket to Ride and Settlers. Many game nights in the future to come I'm sure!

You're the best Pam-a-la-ma!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Hope you all had a wonderful and appetite satisfying day!
Our family had a wonderful day with our good friends the Dana's! Thanks for the invite Scott and Pam and all of Pam's Family. The boys were in heaven since their family is made up of mostly nephews! John watched Its a Wonderful Life and almost cried and I held a newborn and chatted up a storm!

What else could we want!
(besides Haircuts for the boys)

What am I REALLY thankful for?

(photo credits: Caleb Henderson)

I thought about this all morning long.

Of course I am thankful for my family and my Faith...but I really wanted to think about what means the most to me this year specifically that I couldn't go without.

I think the answer is health. Not just physical health but mental health too. To be well, in mind, body, and spirit. There is always room to improve but from last year to this year I am in a very different place.

To start off with the obvious...weight. Since I delivered Beckham I have lost 60 pounds. It feels great. I still have 28 more pounds to lose but I feel great about how far I have come. I enjoy feeling healthy.

The not so obvious is my mental health. Some people know about my struggles but a year ago I told John it feels like there are two devils on my shoulders (you know, like in cartoons where the angel is on one shoulder and the devil is on the other talking to the character). Only I had two devils and had horrible thoughts coming from who knows where. My hormones are now mostly balanced. I feel like the happy optimistic person that I was before. My head feels clear.

I also am super excited to be using alternative medicines again to keep us well. I have been using essential oils on our family and love the effect that I feel come from using the earth to provide us with the things we need to be well. I should have never told John about my experience of dancing in a drum circle in Liberty Park with a snake around my neck. He has never stopped making fun of me for being a closet hippie. But the reality is that I love alternative medicine and I believe that there is so much we can do to help prevent disease instead of just treat it. So maybe I am a bit of a hippie but he also is loving the oils so he doesn't make fun of me anymore! I feel empowered about my health.

I just feel well. Its been a while for me and I don't want to take it for granted. Every day is a new day and not every day is perfect but at least I feel like everyday I am prepared physically, mentally, and spiritually for the trials that come my way.

I am well. That makes me very thankful!

Making Thanksgiving Dinner?

Try this cranberry recipe! Its easy and AMAZING!
Made me even want to eat turkey (which I don't like) just to eat more of it!

Christmas came early!

My closet got shelves and storage!

I cant wait to paint it!
I love it!

Thank you John!
Thank you Scott!
Thank you Pam for sharing Scott!

NEVER have I had a nice place for all of our shoes!
Its a delight to get dressed!

Not really sure with the obsession the kiddos have with the piano on the couch but its been up there a lot lately. Playing can be such hard work!

When did you get so busy!?!

Seriously Beckham...You are everywhere!!!

Half of the time I cant find you and when I do you are either playing in the toilet, hidden under toys in the playroom, pulling the cans all down in the pantry, pulling laundry out of baskets, eating anything you can find on the floor, unrolling toilet paper, pulling all the books off the shelf, emptying any cupboard you can find, or trying to climb in the dishwasher!

I really don't remember your brothers being this busy.

Reminiscin'

We were privileged to have one of my best friends from High School, Carrie, stop by and visit us for a couple of days. It was fun to just sit back and get to know each other- the 12 years later version.

The kids adored her!

I have a lot of regrets from High School. I didn't like who I was then. I'm one of those people who really blossomed in college. I found the real me in college where in High School I was lost. Ive always looked back with regret at who I presented myself to be and how I may have treated people. Carrie had a great point though, that was what High School was for, to learn.

I'm so glad I learned from it!

Two more teeth!

Becks got to more teeth on the top. Thankfully he did it while he was sick so we could double up on the lovin'.

What the world needs to learn from my boys....

John had to go to Salt Lake for work overnight. As we knelt to pray the boys were sad that Dad wasn't there. Caleb looked at me and said,

"its just not the same without a Dad."

Davis murmured an agreeing "Yeah."

True words my boys, don't ever forget them when you are a Dad!

Gratitude

(thanks to my friend Pam for the cute idea and supplies to make these blocks)

Okay, so maybe I was being just a tad on the dramatic side to call Asthma "my doom." Me dramatic? I know, it doesn't happen often :) In all seriousness though, that is how I felt yesterday. I know there are so many things that are so much worse and I really am grateful that this is as serious as my kids health issues get.

That is where my thoughts have taken me today...gratitude, simplicity, and recognising the blessing we do have. I came across this quote and I feel that it really expresses my gratitude this year.


We had expectations of where we would be this year and we are not there...it just hasn't been possible with the economy. Sometimes I get frustrated but when I take a step back and look at what I do have I am overcome with the abundance of my life.

When I was in college there was so much I hoped for and so much I wondered about my future life....what would my husband be like? Or how about- will I ever date a boy I don't get sick of!?! What will my kids be like? Where will I live? Will I be good at being a Mom? Will I be good at making a home? Will I be happy?

I love my small life. I love our home.

I am happy. Happy and overflowing with abundance.

My Doom

Yesterday Beckham was diagnosed with
Reactive Airway Disease

What does that mean...My pediatrician summed it up nicely,

"hes to young to diagnose with Asthma."

Caleb was diagnosed with Reactive Airway when he was little.
It means Beckham has asthma in his future.
I cried the whole way home from the Pediatrician.
I just don't want to do this all over again.

This morning as I restrained him and put the little mask over his face he started screaming and I started crying. I hate holding him down and forcing these steroids and medicines into his little body that make him feel...weird. I feel weird after having to breathe part of it in just by being close. I cried for all the medicines, ER visits, steroids, inhalers, humidifiers, midnight coughing, and fears of colds in his future. Of the changes that come over his little personality when the medicines get pumped in.

Just when I thought my heart was going to burst from sadness and fear, he went still. His little fingers had found my finger and he grabbed it tight. Then he started stroking my fingers and playing with them. We sat there watching Thomas the Train and he stroked my fingers telling me it was going to be okay.

He can handle it, if I can.

I found peace in those 10 minutes with him.

It reminded me of a talk from the Time out For Women where she spoke about her sons diagnosis with diabetes at age 3. Now her son is a teenager and she was asked to fill out a questionnaire about it. One of the questions asked "if you could choose not to have diabetes in your life, would you take it away."

She said it took a lot of time to think about because of course she would never choose to have her son have diabetes. But then she thought about all that they both had learned through the years because of it and she said she would not have chosen to take it away. Hard as it was, the lessons were to invaluable to let pass.

I hope I can say that same thing in 10 years from now.

But for now I'm grateful for the peace that Beckham helped me find and will hold onto that when the times get tough.

What a strong spirit my little man has.

Dear Davis,

Can I tell you how much I love your cute little voice...the cute little ways that you use words. You are adorable, adorable and loud.

Mommy would really appreciate it if you could get the concept of a N-A-P. Today you went in and woke Beckham up- twice.

Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but today I'm sick. REALLY sick. All I wanted was a little nap while Bekcham was napping. But you are persistent my little man. Every time my eyes drifted shut you NEEDED to tell me that Arrow was out of "battewies."

I know sweet boy. I will fix it soon.

Love you,
Mom

I went to Time Out...

and I loved it!

Have you ever heard of Time out for Women? It is a bunch of musical performers and speakers from our church who get together and put on a conference for Women.

It was Inspiring
Enlightening
Uplifting
Rejuvenating.

I'm so glad I had the chance to go. I could go on forever about all of the things that I relearned. The sweet assurances that my Heavenly Father loves me and is mindful of me and my family and children. That he loves us all and wants us to be happy and successful.

Here is the one thought that struck me the most. Seriously it felt like I literally got hit when I heard this and it changed the way I saw my world in one moment. The speaker was talking about the fruits of Motherhood and how they can take a long time for us to taste the sweetness of the fruit. She talked about it for about 3/4 of her talk and then she said,

"Have you ever wondered if the fruits of Motherhood are not in our children?"

My head snapped up...not in my kids? What then? She then went on to talk about how maybe the most important fruit of being a mother is who we become, not our children.

Here is why I found this to be so life changing for me. It changes the way that I see everything. What if I were to focus more on being patient, loving, selfless, in tune with the spirit...how would that effect my children. It would automatically be teaching my children so much by example and not only that but I would be a more effective teacher! Nagging my children to act the way they should while not focusing on whether or not I'm acting the way I should is horrible parenting.

Not that I didn't know this. Of course I try to be a good and patient Mom and to be the best I can be. But the WHY behind it changes everything for me. I use to be doing it because I love them and because it will be good for my kids, it was an outward motion. For example I would work on being patient in the situation, not on just being a patient person from the inside out in every situation. My motivation was everyone else...as was my focus. How are my kids doing? Then adjusting my Mothering to fit.

But to see the trials and joys of Motherhood as the river that is smoothing the edges of my rough stone changes the way I feel about my call as a Mother. There seems to be more purpose in it. I cant be focusing on everyone else and their progression. My progression now seems to be so much more vital to the progression of my children.

I don't feel like I'm expressing myself well. These are not new things but the whole shift in my perspective was what was rocked me. Somewhere a long the way I have lost myself in my Mothering. I was working so hard on developing good children that I was not taking the time to develop myself through those same experiences. It helped me put the "I" back into Motherhood and not only back into it, but in the right perspective.

I hope that in 20 years I will not only be able to say that I'm proud of who my children have become, but that I'm also proud of who I have become BECAUSE of being their Mom.

What a blessing this conference was.

Life changing.

I will be going next year for sure. Its in Vegas...anyone want to meet me there.
Tickets are on Presale now.

Just like his Daddy!

Have I mentioned how much Davis

LOVES
LOVES
LOVES

sour cream!

Every night when we sit down to eat he exclaims, "Oh no the sour cweam!" Off his little feet run to get it.

Mexican, Asian, Italian, American he doesn't care what kind of food he has...
it just has to have sour cweam!

Halloween Day Continued...

After Karate we had to rush over to St George for Caleb's soccer game. You know how I say it kills Davis to have to sit and watch soccer. Well, it just so happens that only 2 kids showed up for Saturdays game and so we give you:

Davis' Soccer Debut!

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! He just thought the point was to run around and then have a dog pile. So the first few plays he would just crash into people and cause a big pile up. He got trampled of course but he would hop right back up. He actually played all but the last few minutes of the game and he was in heaven!

This next picture is what pee wee soccer is all about...

"which way are we going?"
John must say that 20 times a game!

Davis you are a natural.
You seem to have the heart for sports and we cant wait for next year when you are old enough to play!

We started Halloween with....

Caleb was testing for a stripe on his belt. It was our first expreince testing and he did great...he did a lot of watch and copy on his foot forms but he has learned so much. Its so cute to see him yell his keya and punch his little heart out.

On Monday during class he was presented with....



A stripe on his belt. In 3 months he will be able to test and get his actual orange belt. He has a lot to work on before then but luckily our family friend Royal is SO excited to work with him!

Awesome Bud! We are proud of you!

Gymnastics Graduation

We have a great family friend that teaches gymnastics and last year Davis couldn't wait to do it! He just graduated from his Fall session!
It was so cute to watch!

He was so proud of himself.

Here's the shocker...he can do the splits!

That flexibility sure doesn't come from John or I!
Congrats cute boy...we love you!

What a fun weekend!

There is so much to post about! We are just going to take it one post and one day at a time! To start off we had Grandpa and Grandma Rober coming into town to spend the weekend with us and we let Caleb throw a REAL surprise party (my Dads birthday was the 27th). We made another checklist of everything we had to do and made a really good excuse as to why we weren't home and hid in the dark for them. It was SO fun for the boys and we sure surprised them!

Halloween was busy (more of that to come later) but here we are all dressed up.

Davis and Beckham were race car drivers
Caleb was Optimus Prime
I was a gypsy- which apparently looks a lot like a pirate and hippy because I was called both of those things!

It was fun to dress up and Caleb and Davis especially loved seeing it. As I was just finishing getting ready Caleb told me I looked at "weeny." I said what did you just call me. He said, "weeny, you know like Hall-o-weeny."

Glad I got some clarification on that!