Saturday, February 12, 2011

Broken

Tomorrow I leave for home.
I am filled with joyous anticipation and dread all at the same time.

I have described this experience many times as living in a snow globe - it has been intensely all encompassing. In leaving I feel like the protection I've lived under the last few months is being shattered. I will be closing this chapter of my life and move into a new one. The spell of these last few months will be broken and I feel like I am leaving my mother behind.

I know that there are other ways to perceive all that leaving means but at this moment I feel scared. I know I have to face the real world again only now I do it without the support and unwavering love of my mother.

I have felt safe here in my snow globe and it is taking all the faith I have to take the next step forward.

2 comments:

Raelyn said...

If nothing else, know you do today, as always, still have the unwavering love of your mother. That feeling, somedays, may be all that keeps you going. That love is there now, and will be always. This journey was horribly difficult...but you are loved and supported and needed...and those forward steps are therapeutic.

Pam (Haslem) Dana said...

I can't imagine what ups and downs you're feeling, but know that I am here for you for whatever you need!

Love ya!