Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Bad thoughts

For about the last week Ive been struggling with bad thoughts. No, not naughty bad thoughts- but bad against other people. I was born a natural forgiver. I'm not braggin' here, but it does come pretty easy to me. Usually I cant hold a grudge if I want to! I remember telling my Mom I was never going to tell her my secrets again only to be dumping them all out within an hour.

The last few weeks Ive had a few people that have frustrated me and I'm not getting over it! Its kind of annoying. I feel mad for no reason all the time. I feel almost trapped in this little world of irritation. I know its not good but I don't really know what to do about. Usually it just goes away on its own.

Maybe its time I take my own advice, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

I know I'm only hurting our family and myself.

The fact of the matter is I don't like selfish people. I don't like being mislead and used. And I don't like when people try to use guilt and shame on others. I think I'm still festering because the offense was not just committed on me.  I have this really deep need for fairness and I'm ticked off right now at how unfair things are. The worst part is if I ever brought it up with the offending parties they would act victimized.

Whatever.

1 comment:

Mary Kathryn said...

That can be a yucky feeling. Confide with your husband about it and if that doesn't work then talk to a good friend who will listen-- not bash-- but maybe help talk you through it. And of course pray. Sorry you are struggling with this. Maybe confronting that person would end differently then you think-- I guess just weigh your options on what you have to lose and if you can control your temper while confronting the situation.