and I'm not really sure how I really feel about this.
On one hand I'm so excited for all the new things that he going to learn. Hes so ready for someone to challenge his amazing little mind. He is so anxious to learn and hes so close to learning to read. I cant wait for the possibilities I know will open to him when he can read. Not to mention the new friends he will meet and I think that Caleb is going to thrive on the structure of school.
On the other hand I'm scared to let my boy go. So far I have been the main influence in my kids lives. Ive been the one to decide what they watch, who they play with, and always been there in the background to be sure they are okay. Caleb has such an innocent and sensitive spirit and it worries me to let him go to school where there are bullies and kids whose parents don't value kindness and have not taught them that.
It makes me realize how I have a few short months left to give him the self esteem he needs to go to school and deal with the realities of kids in school. It also makes me realize that I'm entering a different yet just as important stage in my career as a mother to be ready for him when he comes home to listen, to hug, to have a inviting and wonderful spirit in our home so that he can "rest" and rejuvenate from his day away. I love the title of Kimbas blog...a soft place to land. That is what I need to make our home for Caleb.
I held back my tears as best as I could filling out the paperwork and counting my blessings that for now I got to bring him home with me.
I'm excited and dreading the first day of school when I have to drop him of and come home alone.
Updated to add: After I wrote this I went and laid down and fed Beckham and was thinking about Caleb. I'm so proud of the fact that I know Caleb will be an answer to many mothers prayers out there that are worried like me about their kids making friends. Caleb is a friend to everyone. He is kind to everyone. He may get in fights with his friends but he never really wants to hurt anyones feelings. He really is an amazing little person and there is so much I can learn from him!
5 comments:
Ah Lisa,
I so felt, and really still feel the same way. Tyler is an amazing soul, and having him influenced has been a challenge, for me. He goes to school with a nice group of kids, but it doesn't change what you feel. He plays Star Wars and Power Rangers...but has never seen either one. Other kids play, so he joins in. He is also such a kind boy, nice to EVERYONE, and it is proof as he has been invited to every birthday party. He has thrived, and grown...he reads some now, and is learning math...plus has a lot of friends. For the record, I bawled when I dropped him off the first day...because my little boy, seemed so independant! That is a hard reality.
I'm sure I'll feel the same exact way when I go through this with Mason.
I truely believe that Caleb will do wonderfully. He has been taught so many great things that have prepared him for this. Although I will admit that the thought of school of any kind for Samantha scares me too!
You have done an amazing job with Caleb. You have done what Heavenly Father wanted done. You taught him faith and kindness and given him all the love he will need out in that Big Bad world! But, remember that every mother has the right to cry when her family leaves that era of innocents.
It's hard! That first day of school is really difficult. I was feeling a lot of what you are feeling when I took Emily for her first day of Kindergarten. But it has been really good for her, she has learned and grown a lot. The second day will be easier...
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