Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Last night I nursed Beckham for the last time. You could tell there just wasn't enough for him to get satisfied and like with Davis at right around 8 weeks my milk goes dry. I don't really know how to feel about this. In some ways there is relief because for me nursing adds a lot of stress not to mention the added time of pumping a lot to keep my milk supply up. It felt like I was always hooked up to the pump. On the flip side the cost of formula is a bummer (if anyone has any enfamil checks that they know they wont use...send them my way please).

In reality though its the added feeling of letting go of nursing forever that is effecting me more than I expected. There is some excitement of moving out of the "baby bearing" years but to not have another sweet newborn it difficult to grasp. I love the way that Beckham has eyes for no one but me. He could stare at my face for hours...and does. Never will a child of mine be this "into me."

So today I feel sad....sad at what I'm leaving behind and for today I'm going to let myself be sad, hold Beckham lots and just breathe all of his newbornness in before it is all gone.

(and yes I know newbornness is not a word)

5 comments:

The Hamlin Family said...

You have every right to feel sad. There's just something about a little baby WANTING and NEEDING his mommy. I LOVE how important they make you feel when they look into your eyes.

PS...Your pictures are AWESOME. I think that was a great idea to start the photo website. Oh, and call us when you go to Pirate Pizza...we go all the time. (Matt was even brave enough to take ALL THREE kids there alone last week...I had a meeting!!!)

Annie said...

It is sad letting go of the nursing thing. I'm glad you got to nurse 8 weeks but I know how frustrating it can be trying to keep your milk supply up.

RL said...

I was right there with you...Nursing was so very hard for me, almost impossible, and I always felt so inadequate because of it. Only because everyone makes it seem like it should be so easy. It isn't for everyone, and many people STRUGGLE to get those days, or weeks of nursing time. I remember having the EXACT same feelings.
Breathe him in my friend!

Shannon said...

It IS sad to let go of the baby stage of life. But there are lots of nice things about having your kids older too!!

Sara said...

Go ahead and feel sad. I always have mixed emotions when I finish nursing.