I got a job...

Well, I actually have 4 now.

• Apartment Manager to 1 house
• Part time photographer
• I babysit a friends little kiddos about once a month when she has work meetings
• And now I work for my friend Lynnette and for Janey Mac

I'm pretty excited about this one. First off it will be more steady. I think between 5-10 hours a week. Its really flexible and I can work from home most of the time. I'm also going to be able to do some really creative things like find blogs to advertise on and do product reviews and giveaways. I will also be putting a catalog together so Janey Mac can go wholesale. Taking inventory and weeding vinyl and other little jobs. Its exciting.

There is a part of me that's sad because I feel like I have to work. Things are just a little too tight that there isn't a lot of extra money each week. Don't get me wrong we are fine but we are tight and its getting hard to be tight for so long. Our tax return was such a blessing and we have been able to do a lot of things we have been waiting for. But week to week, we just need a little bit more money. Its for all the activities like karate, gymnastics, preschool, tee ball...Are they necessary, No. But they are important to me. I'm committed to only working in the mornings before my kiddos get up. I know that its going to be hard but I think I need something to get me more disciplined about mornings so this will work out good.

I feel really blessed that I get to work for someone I like, on my own time, and to really be creative. I'm also really glad that all of my experience with Photoshop will be helpful and it wont be as hard to learn Illustrator (at least I'm hoping). Plus Lynnette is really talented and her vinyl business is different and unique from most of what you see. I love her look and am excited to be apart of it.

Long term I hope to be doing Photography as my part time job and have that support us in the extra money we need but for now this is going to be such a blessing. Speaking of Photography I changed my mind about my Photography name...a girl can do that right!?!

I really like the name The Vintage Image but it doesn't sound like the kind of photography I want to specialise in, which is kids and family outdoors. It would be too long of a story to really explain the whole thing but I think I'm going to change the name to Sweet Pea Photography. I love it. I reminds me of my Grandma Irene and summers at Lake Cavanaugh. Still trying to get the whole domain name thing worked out but Ive been thinking about it for a few days and it feels right.

Its funny how life doesn't turn out the way we expect but at the same time it feels so right. I keep waiting for life to settle down but I'm starting to think that just isn't life, or at least my life with small children and juggling all of my responsibilities.

I feel renewed though. In my purpose, in my focus, and in my home. Not sure how long it will last but today I am grateful for it!

No biggie

We just dropped $1000 on electronics in our home. For some people that may not seem like a big deal but for non-techies like John and I its huge!

Our new computer is nice and fast and I love it. Still trying to get all my old files onto it and then I will be up and running. We are so lucky to have family and friends who are willing to share their computer skills with us.

Our phones work, well one of them at least. Our modem works, and we bought 2 DVD players. A cheap kiddo one and a new Clearplay.

Now I have working USBs and that means I can upload pictures to our computer...YEA!!!!

Did I mention that I got a new lens for my Camera. Its awesome. Here is my favorite picture I have taken so far with it...

My current photography class only has 1 week left. I am taking a hands on Saturday class in 2 weeks and then I am taking a portraits class for 4 weeks after that. I love it and its helping me so much, especially with my confidence.

Well, that a really boring update but hey that's life!

Magnetic Pulse

I do believe that something happened in our home...

Our computer broke
Our motem is broke
Our DVD player wont load DVDs
Our cordless phones wont charge, both of them

Be back when I can!

Gratitude

I cant begin to explain how inspired we were to pick gratitude as our Annual theme. Its been a wonderful experience and we are only to February. Davis has especially gotten into it and wants to play the grateful game all of the time. To him that means we just go back and forth saying what we are grateful for. The plan was to say one thing we are grateful for each night but they love it so much we do it all the time.

They are pretty creative too. Davis usually is grateful for some sort of toy and Caleb is usually grateful for our family or something religious.

The other night we had been on the go at dinner and we hadn't done our gratefuls yet so we were doing them as we were saying family prayer. My hair had been up in a bun and I had taken it down so my hair was a bit of a mess and out of control. Caleb (while looking at me) said I'm grateful for my Savior but most of all I'm grateful we don't look like each other.

Seriously I'm still cracking up over that one!

Allergies

We had shrimp tonight and Davis' whole face broke out.
Hmmm...I think he might be allergic to shrimp.
Apparently he is not allergy free.

Goodness

I have spent a lot of time seeing the negative in a situation we are involved in.

Its just plain yucky.
The specifics are not important, its what we are learning from it that is.

After my post yesterday I wanted to follow up with a post about the goodness of people. People who know of my struggles and want to help. Who call to see how I'm doing. Who think about me and how they can support me when times are tough. People who have thought about me when they knew what was coming for me and then listened when I needed to talk when it was done. Coming and reading positive comments from people who I know love me.

Most people do have good human nature.

Last night I went over to a friends house, she happens to be my Bishop's wife. They made time for me to come just talk with her and her husband and council with me. Another friend was inspired to recommend that I go see them. It didn't matter that I couldn't come until 9:00 they sat up with me sharing their painful experiences with me as I talked about mine. I was there until almost midnight and my poor Bishop tried to hide his yawns.

It was so enlightening and today I see everything so differently. I was so afraid of doing the wrong thing and making the wrong choice. They helped me realize that my family: John, myself, and the boys are what family really means. They are mine to protect, cherish, and care for. I should never feel guilty for doing what is best for them. For protecting them from negative influences.

John and I still have a lot to talk about but I think the last week has been clarifying and simplicity is starting to form through the web of complication. It doesn't mean that it will be easy and we still have to figure a lot of things out. The backlash might be pretty nasty but this time I think I will have the peace from knowing I have done all I can do. Nothing they can do will ever change the way we feel about each other and that is the most important thing.

Seriously it has been a big roller coaster so far this year. I can see the end in sight. It gives me the courage to keep going. And since I hate that every post seems to be dripping in drama I just wanted to add this sweet picture.

What I wouldn't do for a nap!

Growing up

Sometimes being an adult is hard. One of the things that has been the hardest for me to have lost was my innocence of basic human nature. I use to assume that all people at least wanted to do what was right or at least wanted to treat people right. As I have grown and matured I have found that to not be true. Don't get me wrong I think there are amazing and good people everywhere. I am blessed with hundreds of these good people in my life. Perhaps I even appreciate them more because I see the other side of the spectrum.

On days like today though I miss my naive state of mind where I just knew everyone deep down was good and wanted what was best for people.

Reflecting

Ive spent a lot of time reading in this book lately.

All 180 pages of it.

My mom wanted a blog book of this blog for the year 2009.
Being the generous Mom that she is she bought me one too.
Shes good to me like that.

I never realized how much my blog meant to me until I held it in my hands. Ive poured a lot of my heart and thoughts into this blog. Sometimes I'm embarrassed of how raw my emotions are but they are real and I'm glad I have them.

Most of all I get so happy when I see John or the boys look through the book. I hope they know how much they mean to me. This blog is for them and no one else.

Although since they don't comment I appreciate the rest of you who read too :)
To those of you who read my ramblings, thank you for your support and your kind words and encouragement.


This is my place in the world to sort through my thoughts.
Ive learned so much about myself through writing.

I never knew how much I loved to write until I started this blog.

Bountiful

I'm thinking that I'm going to get rid of the Hyperphe blog now that our diet has opened up and just do a section on our regular cooking blog that is Hyperphe friendly. I'm so relieved that we can add in a little bit of protein, it makes such a difference in being able to cook! We just got 3 new Vegan cookbooks from our Grandpa and Grandma Henderson to help us out and they have some amazing looking recipes in them that I am excited to try!

I signed Caleb up for a free cooking class to try at a little cooking school here called "Little Chefs." He loved it! He has always wanted to help me in the kitchen but seriously he would not stop talking about it. We don't have the time or the money to sign him up for official cooking classes but he and I came up with the idea of Tuesday nights being, "Cooking with Caleb" night. He was so excited and said, "you could be my teacher right here at home and we could have all my friends come over and cook with us!" Apparently he thinks we are running a cooking school for the neighborhood! I do think it would be fun to let him invite a friend every once in while. He requested that tonight I teach him to make something with rice, soy sauce, and chicken and I couldn't help but buy this little Apron and hat personalized for a boy because he thought that was one of the coolest parts of his cooking class. I think it will be fun and hope Davis will want to join in so that he can be my helper on Thursdays.

As for those last 10 pregnancy pounds...sigh. Starting over again. The last month I was struggling to survive and so me and my diet got put on the back burner. These 10 pounds have been rough! Ive almost lost them twice only to gain them back.
Time for me to go back off sweets.

We have been saved by a food co ops that we have joined. Here is what we got this week for $15.75:

2 butternut squash
bag of spinach
8 mini yams
6 ears of corn
1 Honeydew Melon
8 apples
1 contain strawberries
3 tomatoes
2 cucumbers
1 pineapple
3 Pomellos
8 bananas

Another example from a couple weeks ago:

1 head of romaine lettuce
1 big spear of broccoli
pack of strawberries
12 pears
7 bananas
12 oranges
6 apples
6 grapefruit
2 cucumbers
3 zucchini
7 red peppers
11 Roma tomatoes

All for $15.75! Its been a heaven sent with our new diet. Plus we have so much produce that we eat things like corn for a snack. So yummy and so good for us! We are also trying all sorts of new things like grapefruit which I don't like and would not have bought but my kids love it! Its making us step out of our comfort zone and try new fruits and veggies!

Life has been rough the last month. Things are starting to calm down a little bit and I'm starting to feel the joy in the little things around us. Our life is bountiful and I like when I have the time to enjoy it!

We had our annual Valentines Dinners last night complete with toasting our glasses and eating off of our beautiful china.

On the menu: Hawaiian Haystacks and Pina Coladas


They boys were so excited to get all their cards and love notes from loved ones and Mom and Dad.


Davis is at such a stinkin' cute age. He summed up how I felt about the day when he ran up to the table and looked at me with his big brown eyes.

"You make me so happy Mommy!"

Common Sense

Beck's number came back.

156

Now they are concerned we have cut him back to much.

Seriously?

My common sense is starting to kick in. We are adding back in beans and limited cheese. We will keep them on the soy milk because it has less protein but we are going to start eating a more vegetarian/vegan diet. Thank goodness because I was running out of options.

I'm relieved. I'm a little irritated that there are not more definitive answers to our sons condition.

I did take it upon myself to start calling other states to see how they would treat our sons. The extremes say No protein, or Dont give Protein a second thought they can eat anyting. The moderates say, be aware. Don't give them tons of protein, never give them aspartame, but generally they can live a pretty moderate diet.

That's where I'm going. No red meat, little chicken, some beans, some cheese. Probably the way we are all suppose to really be eating.

Most of all, I'm counting my blessings!
No $70 (after insurance) for a can of formula!

Waiting

I am on eggshells waiting for Beck's results. We still haven't heard anything.

Life is overwhelming right now. I feel like our blog has been so depressing but seriously I feel like I'm drowning.

John just texted me. He came in 2nd place again on a bid. I do believe that every bid hes turned in lately he has been 2nd place. It is so frustrating to watch him work so hard and not feel like hes getting anywhere.

Maybe its because I relate. Each day I clean up the mess from the day and try to keep it under control only to have the waves of mess attack the next day. I push on each day working to keep it in control and its so hard to feel that I cant ever get a break.

We have been trying all sorts of new meals like Eggplant Ratatouille and Jicama and Pineapple salad. Neither made the cooking blog and John and I have noticed that Davis looks like hes losing some weight.

Beckham is not too hard to feed. I just give him baby food 3 times a day with baby cereal. Baby snacks in between and its not too bad. Davis on the other hand...hes 3 and doesn't want to eat mountains of vegetables.

Driving in our car I looked in the backseat to see the sticker the boys had put on the window and then ripped half off stuck there. Piles of crackers, Piles of papers, and other toys the boys have snuck into the back. Not to mention Caleb put another pencil in the headrest holes. Another one. How many times do I have to tell them not to put things in there. I have no idea how I'm going to get them out of there and I don't think that any of the headrests would actually be able to go down in their holes.

To top it all off some people that have really hurt John and I in the past decide that right now would be a good time to try to reestablish a relationship. Really? Did it have to be right now in the midst of all of the other things that are piling on right now.

Waiting for results.
Waiting for kids to learn to clean up messes.
Waiting for John to get a bid.
Waiting for my car to stay clean again.
Waiting for times that are a little bit easier.

I love my life. I love my kids. But these times are just hard!

Cougars are Classy

My Mom just shared this video with me and I teared up as I watched it.

I love BYU football.
Even more- I love BYU.
I'm proud to be a Cougar regardless of football scores!

Blood draws

Today I took Beckham for a second blood test. It was awful. They blew his vein on his first arm and then on his second arm they couldn't get the vein. They were digging around in his arm so much that blood was coming out where they had put the needle in. It took no less than 3 minutes and then lab tech was almost in tears. He screamed harder and louder than I have ever seen him and his little fist was bright red from the little tourniquet being on for so long.

It broke my heart.

I have good news though!!! According to the newest information I have it seems like the diet for our kids might only be necessary until about the age of 6 when the brain stops developing and changing. From what I understand the first 6 years is when the permanent brain damage can happen. The even use to take all PKU kids off diet at the age of 6. They now recommend that they stay on the diet for life because high levels makes them a little "off" as adults. With my kiddos having levels that are significantly lower though my understanding is that after the age of 6 we probably wont have to worry about their diet to much.

Yeah! I'm sure the info I will find out tomorrow might change that and I really want to talk to Dr Arch about that but it seems to be the case. The will still have to have annual blood draws to make sure they are staying below 300.

Everything depends on Beck's results from today's test. He is healthy and he hadn't eaten for 2 hours so it should be a very accurate test.

Ive got a good feeling about it!

Apparently...

When you keep your house spotless there is no time to blog...

Spoiled

That is what I am.

Tomorrow my Mom leaves and I am sad to see her go. I think she is more than ready. We haven't stopped working: sun up to sun down.

Laundry
Projects
Cleaning
Organizing
A lot of High ho Cherry-O

We did a lot more than I thought we could get done. Projects that I didn't even think about are done.

I appreciate her so much and all her hard work. I know she is tired but that didn't stop her from pushing on to the last minute before she went to be tonight.

I do everything for my kids, its interesting to watch what that translates into for the future. I felt guilty asking her to help but I think it makes a parent feel good to be needed.

I feel more peace in my lovely home. I filed our taxes tonight and feel blessed that the medical bills that are coming will be covered by the tax return that is coming.

There is still a lot to do. I don't think that will ever end. But for tonight I will crawl into a clean bed in my organized and orderly home and sleep well!

Thank you for making that possible Mom.
(Dad too for letting her come and for letting her spoil me)