Its been a really interesting process to see how everyone deals with challenges, specifically really hard challenges, like this one before our family. I deal differently than all the boys in the family, including John. Maybe that's why it seems so hard right now that besides my Mom I am surrounded by men. The men in our family are uber unemotional and the women in our family super overly emotional. Ive been thinking lately its like the chicken and the egg - Did they become unemotional because we are overly emotional or did we become overly emotional because they are unemotional. A deep conundrum that is (said in your best Yoda voice please).
One minute I'm up and then I'm down, and then I'm rational and then I'm all emotional. Its hard to keep up with me right now. Nights are the worst. I stay up so late trying to get tired enough that my mind can go to sleep quickly. Its not working. Now I'm tired, drained, and full of swinging emotions. You bet our anniversary yesterday was loads of fun :)
Not only because I'm really worried about my Mom but I'm also fighting with Caleb's school. A looooong and drawn out tale that is robbing me of any energy and zest for life. Its to the point that we are waiting for the superintendent to get back to us because John and I want to have a meeting with the Principle in his office because she needs someone to keep her in line. I assure you, I'm not overreacting. Ive checked with A LOT of people (including the head of Student Services for the District - who apologized on behalf of the district might I add). Our Principle is a piece of work! But unfortunately for our Principle- SHE HAS MET HER MATCH!
Watch out Robyn Bishop!
I think one of the most invaluable life lessons I have learned was from Grandma Henderson (Johns Grandma). She said that in times like this we have to let everyone own their own reactions. We are all going to act differently and that its okay. We have to allow people to cope in their own way. Might sound like common sense but in practical application its really hard! Anytime I have been slightly put off or frustrated on how anyone has reacted I sit back and think about how that person must be feeling and how they are trying their best. My heart softens and I feel compassion and love, instead of frustration or irritation. I sometimes find myself being defensive at how my family is reacting to me and ready to defend myself. Then I realize I have to allow myself that same gift. I have to allow myself to grieve and deal with whatever comes in my own way. Its not right or wrong, its coping.
It has been one of the most important lessons I have learned in my life. Grandma Henderson was right. Times like these can make or break a family. But when we care for each other and have empathy for what each different person's perspective and feelings we can grow closer together. It has helped me understand and feel closer to my Dad, especially since we are so different when it comes to emotions. Its not about acting right or wrong to the situation before us, its about acting in a loving and understanding way to everyone involved.
Hopefully that was the lesson that had to be learned and now we will find that my Mom has that auto immune disorder they are checking for and it will be allllll gooood!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Alone...
There is something special about female companionship. Specifically those in a direct family line.
My grandmothers have passed away....
I never had a sister...
I didn't have a daughter...
And now I'm going to lose my Mother much to early.
I will be left the only woman in my immediate family line.
Grandfather, Father, Brothers, Sons. But no women.
That scares me and makes me feel alone. For one brief second I wanted to get pregnant and give my Mom the granddaughter she always longed for. I never understood why that was so important to her, until now. Maybe she intuitively knew that I would feel alone in a family of men and that I would feel that there would be no one left to really understand me. Deep down I think she knew what I couldn't see, and she didn't want to eventually leave me alone. But eventually may have found a way of coming faster than any of us imagined.
We still have one glimmer of hope that what she is experiencing is not ALS - more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease. I am praying harder than anything for Myasthenia gravis because then I will know that our time together will not be limited to 2-5 years. Unfortunately both my Mom and my hearts have felt from the day the symptoms have become more clear that it is ALS.
Grandmother -Mother - Sister - Daughter
Its like each generation can in their turn refine the woman that is made up by their family traits. In each new generation there is a new hope and pride. I could always be myself with my Grandmothers and I can be myself without reservations when I'm with my Mom. I'm free to be me because they understand who I am in a way that one else can because they can see themselves in me. This in no way diminishes the amazing relationships that we can have with sister-in-laws, or grandmother-in laws. But there is something special about those that you share the same genetics and family experiences with. They can understand you in a way that no one else can.
Its like each generation can in their turn refine the woman that is made up by their family traits. In each new generation there is a new hope and pride. I could always be myself with my Grandmothers and I can be myself without reservations when I'm with my Mom. I'm free to be me because they understand who I am in a way that one else can because they can see themselves in me. This in no way diminishes the amazing relationships that we can have with sister-in-laws, or grandmother-in laws. But there is something special about those that you share the same genetics and family experiences with. They can understand you in a way that no one else can.
My grandmothers have passed away....
I never had a sister...
I didn't have a daughter...
And now I'm going to lose my Mother much to early.
I will be left the only woman in my immediate family line.
Grandfather, Father, Brothers, Sons. But no women.
That scares me and makes me feel alone. For one brief second I wanted to get pregnant and give my Mom the granddaughter she always longed for. I never understood why that was so important to her, until now. Maybe she intuitively knew that I would feel alone in a family of men and that I would feel that there would be no one left to really understand me. Deep down I think she knew what I couldn't see, and she didn't want to eventually leave me alone. But eventually may have found a way of coming faster than any of us imagined.
We still have one glimmer of hope that what she is experiencing is not ALS - more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease. I am praying harder than anything for Myasthenia gravis because then I will know that our time together will not be limited to 2-5 years. Unfortunately both my Mom and my hearts have felt from the day the symptoms have become more clear that it is ALS.
I have never wanted to be wrong so bad in my life.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Shame on you
I have never completely understood homeschooling. I get it in Junior High, but in elementary? There is a family in our ward with 4 kids and they homeschool -3 of them have peanut allergy's and NOW I get it. I just wanted to snatch my little Caleb up and run away as fast as I could at lunch today.
Last year I was told that there was one girl who would eat her lunch in the office on that 1 day a month when they serve PB & J. I was good with that. I called to verify the day before school started - do I just tell him to go to the office on that day? I was told children don't eat in the office. Why cant he just eat in the cafeteria because that's what all the other kids with allergies do (Insert super snotty full of their own importance secretary voice there) There are 18 kids at his school that have allergies to nuts. They have no place for them when they serve nuts to the majority of the kids.
I called about 18 different people in the school district (there is a longer post about why that I might write someday - but the lack of accommodation for children with medical needs was only one of the reasons). The nurse called me and said they were instituting a "Peanut Free" table. I told her, I'm not looking or a special place for him everyday - JUST the day they serve PB & J and other peanut products. Near 2/3 - 3/4 of the cafeteria would be eating Peanut butter on that day and that's a lot for a 6 year old to be careful of. I told them not to worry about accommodating us - Caleb will be going out to eat on that day!
They said they probably should start a Peanut free table anyway. Hmmm, ya think!? I was told that Caleb would be allowed to pick one friend to sit with him as long as their lunch was peanut free. The school nurse makes lots of good plans like that, but she is not on site and the school does not follow through. I knew exactly what would happen. Caleb would go in and they would tell him that was where he HAD to sit. Which is not the case. Caleb is careful. I know a lot of parents pack PB & J and he knows he cant eat what is in other kids lunch. All I had asked in my call was where the kids with nut allergies ate when the school serves PB. Seems logical that they would have a safe place set aside for those kids to me.
When we got to his class this morning I introduced him and myself to his teachers and talked with them about his allergies and they said they knew there was a table that was only for kids with peanut allergies. I reminded them that IF Caleb wanted to sit there he was allowed to take 1 friend with a peanut free lunch. "Okay great" was their response. I said goodbye to my boy and went to meet the lunch lady. She assured me the only lunch day with nuts is the one PB & J sandwich and not to worry because they now had a table for the kids with nut allergies to sit at and no one else is allowed to sit there. I reminded her: He is allowed to bring one friend with a peanut free lunch. "Oh that's great" she responded. I'm starting to wonder if they think he is allergic to kids without allergies or nuts? Its unclear.
As I left this morning and saw the chaos and the inability of the staff at his school do anything simple like order and organization (ie:you cant drop your kid off at their classroom until you know their bus number and yet there is no list posted and the office has no idea what number the buses are - this happened last year too you can read about it here)
I knew I had to come for lunch!
I was in the back of the cafeteria and sure enough I saw his teacher point and tell him that was "his" table. I went over and sat down and he said Cicely was going to come sit with him. But she was put at a different table. A couple of boys with school lunches came and sat down and I let them sit there since their lunches were - peanut free -seems that it should not be a problem for them to sit at the peanut free table! Then I saw other kids with peanut free lunches turned away and told they had to sit somewhere else. Every single table in the cafeteria was overflowing with kids and then there was the Peanut free table where there were 3 kids and 1 mom. Had I not been there - Caleb would have been the only one at that table.
That is when I almost picked him up and ran for the door, my heart was so sad. Really why cant this school follow simple directions from the nurse? Where is their compassion and caring for a child? Where was the friend he was told he could have? He is 6 years old! Who is watching out for him!?! Caleb was so excited to have a fruit roll up in his lunch he didn't notice. Sweet, sweet boy! Today it made him feel special because he had a special table.
How long will that last?
We had fun and he waved constantly to the stream of friends that passed by when they were done. Then I had to introduce him to Jewel the lunch lady and she asked what would happen if he did eat a nut. I told her he would throw up and that his blood pressure drops so quickly that he cant stay awake. In my head I saw it. Caleb getting up from the table and going into the bathroom where he would puke and then fall asleep on the bathroom floor.
Jewel told me that she was glad there was a peanut free table. She said last year there was a girl who would plug her nose and eat her lunch fast because even inhaling peanut smells in the air could make her sick. Did no one think that this girl deserved a little more dignity and safety?
I have heard so many people (sadly including people in my own family) say that "parents like me" cant expect everyone to bend over backwards for just one kid. Really, is that what you think? That I'm ranting, raving, and complaining because I want everyone to accommodate just my child out of convenience? What about advocating to save his life?
What about 18 childrens lives?
When are there enough to get rid of 1 PB & J sandwich a month? Its one sandwich! I'm not asking that kids from home be banned from PB, but does the school have to feed the majority of kids one PB & J sandwich a month?
After lunch I went to the office where I dropped off benadryl and got the same "okay, great, sure" responses I had been getting to everything I said all day. Yet the next minute they have no idea what the program is. How can I trust that they will know when to give benadryl and when to give the epi-pen. "If Caleb goes missing please have someone check all the bathroom stalls." Did that just come out of my mouth? Am I prepared to take chances like that. We don't know what would happen if he doesn't get Benadryl because someone has always been right there when he has had every reaction. Is his life at risk? According to the allergist - yes.
I found his teacher and explained for the 3rd time that he is allowed a friend at the table and that he does not have to sit there on days when the majority of kids have peanut free lunches. "Oh, okay great." The same response tumbled out so easily. I looked her in the eye and said "please be sure he has a friend to sit with, I don't want him sitting by himself." I spun on my heels as my voice broke and the tears started pouring from my eyes. I made it through the front doors before the first sob wracked my body. I didn't stop for 10 minutes.
I so get why people home school.
It looks so easy all of a sudden.
For all you out there that think that "parents like me" cant expect everyone to bend over backwards for just my kid. Remember the image of a small child sitting alone by himself in a packed cafeteria and realize what you are asking him to give up so your child can eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Remember the possibility I'm living with: my precious son might be lying in his vomit on the cold floor of a school bathroom all alone while his body attacks itself.
Is a PB & J sandwich worth that to you?
Which of us is the selfish and self centered parent?
Shame on Coral Canyon Elementary.
Shame on you.
Last year I was told that there was one girl who would eat her lunch in the office on that 1 day a month when they serve PB & J. I was good with that. I called to verify the day before school started - do I just tell him to go to the office on that day? I was told children don't eat in the office. Why cant he just eat in the cafeteria because that's what all the other kids with allergies do (Insert super snotty full of their own importance secretary voice there) There are 18 kids at his school that have allergies to nuts. They have no place for them when they serve nuts to the majority of the kids.
I called about 18 different people in the school district (there is a longer post about why that I might write someday - but the lack of accommodation for children with medical needs was only one of the reasons). The nurse called me and said they were instituting a "Peanut Free" table. I told her, I'm not looking or a special place for him everyday - JUST the day they serve PB & J and other peanut products. Near 2/3 - 3/4 of the cafeteria would be eating Peanut butter on that day and that's a lot for a 6 year old to be careful of. I told them not to worry about accommodating us - Caleb will be going out to eat on that day!
They said they probably should start a Peanut free table anyway. Hmmm, ya think!? I was told that Caleb would be allowed to pick one friend to sit with him as long as their lunch was peanut free. The school nurse makes lots of good plans like that, but she is not on site and the school does not follow through. I knew exactly what would happen. Caleb would go in and they would tell him that was where he HAD to sit. Which is not the case. Caleb is careful. I know a lot of parents pack PB & J and he knows he cant eat what is in other kids lunch. All I had asked in my call was where the kids with nut allergies ate when the school serves PB. Seems logical that they would have a safe place set aside for those kids to me.
When we got to his class this morning I introduced him and myself to his teachers and talked with them about his allergies and they said they knew there was a table that was only for kids with peanut allergies. I reminded them that IF Caleb wanted to sit there he was allowed to take 1 friend with a peanut free lunch. "Okay great" was their response. I said goodbye to my boy and went to meet the lunch lady. She assured me the only lunch day with nuts is the one PB & J sandwich and not to worry because they now had a table for the kids with nut allergies to sit at and no one else is allowed to sit there. I reminded her: He is allowed to bring one friend with a peanut free lunch. "Oh that's great" she responded. I'm starting to wonder if they think he is allergic to kids without allergies or nuts? Its unclear.
As I left this morning and saw the chaos and the inability of the staff at his school do anything simple like order and organization (ie:you cant drop your kid off at their classroom until you know their bus number and yet there is no list posted and the office has no idea what number the buses are - this happened last year too you can read about it here)
I knew I had to come for lunch!
I was in the back of the cafeteria and sure enough I saw his teacher point and tell him that was "his" table. I went over and sat down and he said Cicely was going to come sit with him. But she was put at a different table. A couple of boys with school lunches came and sat down and I let them sit there since their lunches were - peanut free -seems that it should not be a problem for them to sit at the peanut free table! Then I saw other kids with peanut free lunches turned away and told they had to sit somewhere else. Every single table in the cafeteria was overflowing with kids and then there was the Peanut free table where there were 3 kids and 1 mom. Had I not been there - Caleb would have been the only one at that table.
Imagine how that would feel to a 6 year old?
Looking around at a cafeteria full of overflowing, happy, talking, laughing kids and him sitting by himself at an empty table.
Seriously think about that - How would that make you feel? How would that make you feel to see your child in that situation?
Looking around at a cafeteria full of overflowing, happy, talking, laughing kids and him sitting by himself at an empty table.
Seriously think about that - How would that make you feel? How would that make you feel to see your child in that situation?
That is when I almost picked him up and ran for the door, my heart was so sad. Really why cant this school follow simple directions from the nurse? Where is their compassion and caring for a child? Where was the friend he was told he could have? He is 6 years old! Who is watching out for him!?! Caleb was so excited to have a fruit roll up in his lunch he didn't notice. Sweet, sweet boy! Today it made him feel special because he had a special table.
How long will that last?
We had fun and he waved constantly to the stream of friends that passed by when they were done. Then I had to introduce him to Jewel the lunch lady and she asked what would happen if he did eat a nut. I told her he would throw up and that his blood pressure drops so quickly that he cant stay awake. In my head I saw it. Caleb getting up from the table and going into the bathroom where he would puke and then fall asleep on the bathroom floor.
No one to pick him up and hold him.
No one to make him chew a benadryl to stop the reaction.
How long would he be there?
Would they even know what to do when they found him?
Would the reaction get worse the longer he laid there?
No one to make him chew a benadryl to stop the reaction.
How long would he be there?
Would they even know what to do when they found him?
Would the reaction get worse the longer he laid there?
Jewel told me that she was glad there was a peanut free table. She said last year there was a girl who would plug her nose and eat her lunch fast because even inhaling peanut smells in the air could make her sick. Did no one think that this girl deserved a little more dignity and safety?
I have heard so many people (sadly including people in my own family) say that "parents like me" cant expect everyone to bend over backwards for just one kid. Really, is that what you think? That I'm ranting, raving, and complaining because I want everyone to accommodate just my child out of convenience? What about advocating to save his life?
What about 18 childrens lives?
When are there enough to get rid of 1 PB & J sandwich a month? Its one sandwich! I'm not asking that kids from home be banned from PB, but does the school have to feed the majority of kids one PB & J sandwich a month?
After lunch I went to the office where I dropped off benadryl and got the same "okay, great, sure" responses I had been getting to everything I said all day. Yet the next minute they have no idea what the program is. How can I trust that they will know when to give benadryl and when to give the epi-pen. "If Caleb goes missing please have someone check all the bathroom stalls." Did that just come out of my mouth? Am I prepared to take chances like that. We don't know what would happen if he doesn't get Benadryl because someone has always been right there when he has had every reaction. Is his life at risk? According to the allergist - yes.
I found his teacher and explained for the 3rd time that he is allowed a friend at the table and that he does not have to sit there on days when the majority of kids have peanut free lunches. "Oh, okay great." The same response tumbled out so easily. I looked her in the eye and said "please be sure he has a friend to sit with, I don't want him sitting by himself." I spun on my heels as my voice broke and the tears started pouring from my eyes. I made it through the front doors before the first sob wracked my body. I didn't stop for 10 minutes.
I so get why people home school.
It looks so easy all of a sudden.
For all you out there that think that "parents like me" cant expect everyone to bend over backwards for just my kid. Remember the image of a small child sitting alone by himself in a packed cafeteria and realize what you are asking him to give up so your child can eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Remember the possibility I'm living with: my precious son might be lying in his vomit on the cold floor of a school bathroom all alone while his body attacks itself.
Is a PB & J sandwich worth that to you?
Which of us is the selfish and self centered parent?
Shame on Coral Canyon Elementary.
Shame on you.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Back to School Blues
Tomorrow Caleb starts his first day of 1st grade. I thought Kindergarten was hard....
We are prepared...I think
Caleb,
You have struggled to be independent for years now. I know you will be fine - in fact I know you will be great. You looked at Dad and I like we were crazy when we talked about if there are times when you don't feel you have friend. You have such a great personality and will charm everyone. Please remember to only eat your lunch. Please remember to listen when you are told. Most of all pleeeease remember that your mom loves you so much that it hurts to let you go.
I love you buddy,
Mommy
We are prepared...I think
- His homework station is all set up
- His lunch box is packed except his sandwich
- His backpack is by the door
- His clothes are laid out
- Lunch menus are printed and apt with Lunch lady in the morning to mark calendars for the days nuts are being served
- Bus times ready
- First Day of school cinnamon rolls in the fridge
- Medication Administration Authorizations at Pediatrician
- New allergy test paperwork ordered
- Buying Benadryl for the the school
- School Nurse now on speed dial
- Been getting up at 6:30 everyday to read scriptures with Dad and to pray as a family this week
- FHE lesson last night was on remembering that even when things are hard and they are not at home, they can still remember how much we love them. Taught them to remember to pray if they need help and Heavenly Father will be there with them. Caleb was so excited to know that Holy Ghost will go to school with him each day
- John will give him a Fathers blessing tonight
Caleb,
You have struggled to be independent for years now. I know you will be fine - in fact I know you will be great. You looked at Dad and I like we were crazy when we talked about if there are times when you don't feel you have friend. You have such a great personality and will charm everyone. Please remember to only eat your lunch. Please remember to listen when you are told. Most of all pleeeease remember that your mom loves you so much that it hurts to let you go.
I love you buddy,
Mommy
Monday, August 9, 2010
Playing in the gutter
When we got home from camping we had to set the trailer up in the garage to let it dry out!
We went to Costco and when we came home it had been down pouring! It was one of those perfect summer storms where its hot and humid and it rains while the sun is still shining! We had fun driving through the puddles in the gutter and seeing how big of splashes we could make. Davis wanted to play in the overflowing gutter when we got home and we thought, why not? The boys dove right in splashing and playing!
John and I were cracking up at how much fun they were having racing their sandals down the gutter and splashing. John got the shovel out to clear a few tumbleweeds when from behind Davis kicked a bunch of water all over him and then took off running!
Their fun and splashing was then turned into this:
With even a little this:
Not even Beckham was spared!
Don't feel to sorry for the little instigators! They did their part for sure!
Warm showers and movie night topped the night off!
We went to Costco and when we came home it had been down pouring! It was one of those perfect summer storms where its hot and humid and it rains while the sun is still shining! We had fun driving through the puddles in the gutter and seeing how big of splashes we could make. Davis wanted to play in the overflowing gutter when we got home and we thought, why not? The boys dove right in splashing and playing!
John and I were cracking up at how much fun they were having racing their sandals down the gutter and splashing. John got the shovel out to clear a few tumbleweeds when from behind Davis kicked a bunch of water all over him and then took off running!
Their fun and splashing was then turned into this:
With even a little this:
Not even Beckham was spared!
Don't feel to sorry for the little instigators! They did their part for sure!
Warm showers and movie night topped the night off!
Pre-Pregnancy Weight At Last!
There it is!!! I'm so happy to say all the leftovers are gone from all 3 kids! I was a little nervous that my body would seem so different, and it definitely is don't get me wrong. But on the other hand I wasn't expecting good changes and there are some. I feel like the curves are a little better even if they are a little curvier. My body seems much more womanly if that makes any sense.
Did I also mention that this is the first time in our marriage that I think Ive weighted less than John. We were probably pretty close when we got married but I think I was a few pounds over him. Talk about hard on the self esteem :) But yesterday we both got on the scale and he was more than me!!!
Still 9 pounds to go to my original goal, but after looking at some height/weight charts I think I will have about 6 pounds to go after that. For now I'm going to leave my goal as is and then set a new one when I reach this one. I want to have a perfect week this week. I am only 5 pounds away from being "normal" in my BMI. Cant wait!!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Camping @ Panguitch Lake
We went for what will probably be our last camping trip this year. John wants to go on one more...and it would be fun but Beckham doesn't stay in camp, doesn't stay away from the fire, and doesn't stay in his bed at night! We will see...
EXTREME CLOSE UP!!!
We went our good friends the Steurer's and it was a blast. We got up there Friday at about 5:00 and set all up. We headed into town so that John could get a fishing license and Mom could be cool by buying $31 of junk food. I loooove being the cool mom!
Foil dinners and biscuits for dinner and then the boys went off fishing. They actually were able to catch some but Davis let one go while reeling it in and the second fish was let go when the hook went into someones finger. Ouch!
It was great to just sit and the fire and talk to the late hours of the morning with the Geoff and Jody. We love being with them. They uplift us and inspire us to be better people and every time we walk away from being with them we just feel happy. Plus Geoff has so much knowledge that we love to soak up and Jody just has great perspective. We really need to hang out with them more.
They boys had fun being boys out in the woods!
Beckham pretty much looked like this the whole time...
It was not a good trip for him or a good night for John and I. Poor guy threw up when we put him to bed and he is breaking his eye teeth and the last of his top molars. We finally all fell asleep only to wake up to the sound of rain on the canvas and thunder. There was some blue sky in the window so we laid around until about 8:00. The clouds coming in didn't look promising so we decided to break camp and head out to breakfast. The minute we started packing the storm really hit! It was constant thunder and pouring rain! We probably set a new record for breaking camp and were left drenched while the kids sat in the car eating lunchables. I was so wet, my pants would not stay up because they were so heavy!
Getting breakfast in Panguitch on a Saturday morning is apparently very difficult and we were finally served food at the Flying M at 10:30. We scarfed our food and all became civil again as our hunger needs were met. Riley and Andy had ordered the "biggest cinnamon roll you've ever seen" and it was huge. Caleb was so sad that he didn't get one and at the end of the meal they shared a little with him. We were too far away to see or think about the fact that it might have walnuts in it!
So Beckham sick, Beckham not sleeping, downpour, 2 hour wait for breakfast, Caleb having an allergic reaction. Sounds like a bad weekend. But it wasn't - we had a blast! We really had fun with the adventure of it all and just enjoying being together and laughing.
EXTREME CLOSE UP!!!
Foil dinners and biscuits for dinner and then the boys went off fishing. They actually were able to catch some but Davis let one go while reeling it in and the second fish was let go when the hook went into someones finger. Ouch!
It was great to just sit and the fire and talk to the late hours of the morning with the Geoff and Jody. We love being with them. They uplift us and inspire us to be better people and every time we walk away from being with them we just feel happy. Plus Geoff has so much knowledge that we love to soak up and Jody just has great perspective. We really need to hang out with them more.
They boys had fun being boys out in the woods!
Beckham pretty much looked like this the whole time...
It was not a good trip for him or a good night for John and I. Poor guy threw up when we put him to bed and he is breaking his eye teeth and the last of his top molars. We finally all fell asleep only to wake up to the sound of rain on the canvas and thunder. There was some blue sky in the window so we laid around until about 8:00. The clouds coming in didn't look promising so we decided to break camp and head out to breakfast. The minute we started packing the storm really hit! It was constant thunder and pouring rain! We probably set a new record for breaking camp and were left drenched while the kids sat in the car eating lunchables. I was so wet, my pants would not stay up because they were so heavy!Getting breakfast in Panguitch on a Saturday morning is apparently very difficult and we were finally served food at the Flying M at 10:30. We scarfed our food and all became civil again as our hunger needs were met. Riley and Andy had ordered the "biggest cinnamon roll you've ever seen" and it was huge. Caleb was so sad that he didn't get one and at the end of the meal they shared a little with him. We were too far away to see or think about the fact that it might have walnuts in it!
So Beckham sick, Beckham not sleeping, downpour, 2 hour wait for breakfast, Caleb having an allergic reaction. Sounds like a bad weekend. But it wasn't - we had a blast! We really had fun with the adventure of it all and just enjoying being together and laughing.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Talkin'
Beckham has me all excited because he is starting to talk! I know hes like 19 months old but our boys usually are pretty delayed talkers. Maybe this is when they started...I cant remember. Wish I had blogged when Caleb was a baby!
In my mind I just wasn't thinking "talking" until about 2.
Plus he talks pretty clearly which is another thing our other boys were a little delayed in. Here is his vocabulary as of today...
In my mind I just wasn't thinking "talking" until about 2.
Plus he talks pretty clearly which is another thing our other boys were a little delayed in. Here is his vocabulary as of today...Mommy
Daddy
Hi
Bye Bye
Night Night
Ouch
Hot
Shoes
Please
Down
Doggie
Barney
Ball
Whats that?
Drink
Uh-oh
This
Caleb
Davis
There it is
Whee
See ya
Vroom
Daddy
Hi
Bye Bye
Night Night
Ouch
Hot
Shoes
Please
Down
Doggie
Barney
Ball
Whats that?
Drink
Uh-oh
This
Caleb
Davis
There it is
Whee
See ya
Vroom
He repeats everything we say so hes picking things up everyday.
It just seems he is exploding with language and I love it!
It just seems he is exploding with language and I love it!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
"In all of our lives, there comes a moment, an event, that suddenly realigns our life and makes us realize what really matters most."I found some things out yesterday that realigned my life. Even if all of this turns out to be nothing I am and will forever be changed. Last night I lay in my bed crying, pleading with my body to stop the sobs that tore from deep in my soul. I felt selfish. I could only think about how I was not prepared for some of the possibilities that might be on the table. I'm not strong enough or old enough to deal with the possibility that my Mom might be mortal.
-Noah beShea
I still need her too much. I need her unconditional love and support as I blunder through my life. I need her quiet reassurance that I'm doing a good job. I need a friend to call when I cant call anyone else. Not even to talk with my problems about. Rather because I just want to talk with her. I am her masterpiece and its only through her eyes that I sometimes see my truest beauty and find my deepest acceptance. No one loves like a mother loves. That is what I believed last night.
But Mama do you know how much I love you?
I didn't fully comprehend the love a daughter has for her Mother until the
wee hours of the morning on Tuesday.
I love you Mom,
Girly
Playing catch up - Splash Pad
We most certainly have not done enough playing at splash pads this summer.
Caleb realized that when he puts the water squinter over the spray it will fill it for him! Smart boy!
And look when I go with friends - I can even prove I was there!
We for sure will be going this Thursday. Any friends want to come?
We will be there bright and early at 8:30 so we can be out of there when the crowds come by 10:00. We will for sure have to hit the dollar store today for some of those boats!
Caleb realized that when he puts the water squinter over the spray it will fill it for him! Smart boy!
And look when I go with friends - I can even prove I was there!
We for sure will be going this Thursday. Any friends want to come?We will be there bright and early at 8:30 so we can be out of there when the crowds come by 10:00. We will for sure have to hit the dollar store today for some of those boats!
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